17 Mar What is the Secret Place?
What is the Secret Place?
Grief and fear is a nasty combination. I could feel my heart pound and my body react with anxious thoughts as I faced the reality of Divorce. How will I get through this? Overwhelm flooded my thoughts and I was forced to live in the present moment or be taken out by anxiety. I felt like I was in the middle of a fierce storm with no end in visible sight.
Yet there was a refuge. I could quiet my soul just enough to allow myself to breath. My breath reminded me that I am not alone, the one who gives me breath also give wisdom and comfort. I needed to hear from God. I slowed down, created quiet space, opened my heart, embraced my broken messiness and asked God to speak. I listened.
The voice of God is in the quiet, in the still, it feels like peace and love that wrecks the fear inside of me. I needed much more of this fear wrecking love. This time was the end of 2015. I am ever so grateful for another challenging season I lived through in 2013. I know that it sounds weird to be grateful for difficult times, but in that challenge I came to understand prayer in a completely new light. I learned that prayer is not just shouting out all my problems and hoping for God to intervene in a way that I may or not recognize. I began to understand that God wants me to know him, to authentically know his heart and his character. To understand his love for me and his love for people. The most amazing adventure began for me in 2013 and as I learn more about his goodness, I lean more into trust. As I trust him, the worry I have carried for years begins to melt off.
The quiet and private place where we can receive love, healing, hope, wisdom, and understanding is the Secret Place. The secret place has provided rich opportunities for me to learn to hear God’s voice. It was in the place of quiet and humble rest where I reflected upon the pain of insecurity of my self-worth and perfectionism that I had been carrying for so many years. In the secret place I received revelation of how shame and guilt spoke into my life in more ways than I realized. It was also here where I allowed healing to come in and where I learned to surrender all that I had been clinging to. I will unpack this journey in future blog posts.
My intense healing and grieving season is complete. However, I still need to abide in truth to maintain my hope and strength for my future as I move forward in single parenting. I am learning so much on this exciting and painful adventure of growing in faith and finding in my truest self, strength, love, and humble confidence. I believe there is available an inner life of peace that we all desire. Even if you have not been through a devastation like divorce, none of us are immune to pain, fear, shame, pride, overwhelm, broken thinking, and worry. It is with joy that we can retreat in quiet communion with the one who is love. Join me on the adventure of what is to come from The Secret Place.
“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.” Psalm 91:1-2